Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
