Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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