Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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