Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So squirting runs in the family.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
