she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
