I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
