The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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