How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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