I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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