dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
