Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
