Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
