so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize