Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
