theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
