His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
