How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
