Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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