You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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