Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
