So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
