quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
