Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
