I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was like eating out sand paper
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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