five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't deserve a penis
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize