She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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