So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
