fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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