Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
