i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
