Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You may now shotgun with the bride
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
