i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just cropdusted the office
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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