it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
whose parrot is this?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
