Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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