Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
