Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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