her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
