Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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