u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize
