so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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