their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
