Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
