And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize