god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize