Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
