so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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