my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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