I have demons in me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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