During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
how drunk are you?
Several
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
