So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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