i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
