Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Church boner. Awkwardddd
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I see more hoeing in ur future
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