he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
