While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
