check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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