Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
