I just saw a hot homeless man
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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