i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
