Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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