The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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