dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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