There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
