Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
