I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize