DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
